post a fucking joke

[dirtymonkey22]

An Arabic family was considering putting their grandfather Abdullah in a nursing home. All the Arabic facilities were completely full so they had to put him in an Italian home.

After a few weeks in the Italian facility, they came to visit Grandpa. ''How do you like it here?'' asks the grandson.

''It's wonderful! Everyone here is so courteous and respectful'', says grandpa.

''We're so happy for you. We were worried that this was the wrong place for you. You know, since you are a little different from everyone. ''

''Oh, no! Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat the residents'', Abdullah says with a big smile.

''There's a musician here-- he's 85 years old. He hasn't played the violin in 20 years and everyone still calls him 'Maestro'!

There is a judge in here -- he's 95 years old. He hasn't been on the bench in 30 years and everyone still calls him 'Your Honor'!

There's a dentist here -- 90 years old. He hasn't fixed a tooth for 25 years and everyone still calls him Doctor?!

And me -- I haven't had sex for 35 years and they still call me 'The Fucking Arab'

[evulninja]

heh.. i cant tell a joke like its supposed to be told so il improv..

theres this chick and she goes in to work one day and the janitor comes up to her and says
damn girl youre so fine ill pay you a hundred dollars to fuck me.
she was like hell no..
so he was like 200 dollars.. she was broke so she was like ill think about it,
so he said ill give you 250 dollars and ill be done before you can pick up the money ill throw it on the ground..
so she was like hangon ill have to ask my husband
so she calls her husband and he was like.. well he said hed be done before you could pick up the money off the ground so just pick it up as soon as he throws it down. so she was like hell yeah he wont even be able to put his dick in that quick. so the husband was like ok cool call me right when you get done. she agrees and goes back to the janitor and says o.k... well anyway 10 minutes goes by and she still hasnt called.. 20 minutes.. an hour goes by and the husband calls her and said damn, i thought you said you would call me back when he was done and it wouldnt take that long. she was like yeah im still not done that motherfucker paid me in all quarters.. hahahah

[sTr]

with a title like that nobody will click that link... ! was scared to do it at work, figured it would be sexy man meat....

but here's a joke....

There's an Arab, a Mexican and a woman from Arizona sitting at a bar.

First, the Mexican takes a shot, throws it in the air and shoots it with his gun.

The Arab asked him why he shot his glass

The Mexican replied, "Where I come from in Mexico glasses are everywhere because they are so cheap that we can just get another one, so we just shoot them when we're done.

Then, the Arab takes a shot, throws it in the air and shoots it with his gun.

The Mexican asks him why he shot his glass.

The Arab says where I come from it's the desert, and there is sand everywhere so we can just make a new glass, so we just shoot them when we're done.

Now the woman from Arizona, takes a shot, throws it in the air, shoots it, shoots the Arab and shoots the Mexican.

The Bartender asks here why she shot them, she said, in Arizona where I come from, we have so many illegal immigrants that I can just get a new set of drinking partners anywhere.

[dirtymonkey22]

Husband and wife are lying quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks the question.

WIFE: 'What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?'

HUSBAND: 'Definitely not!'

WIFE: 'Why not? Don't you like being married?'

HUSBAND: 'Of course I do.'

WIFE: 'Then why wouldn't you remarry?'

HUSBAND: 'Okay, okay, I'd get married again.'

WIFE: 'You would? (with a hurt look)

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)

WIFE: 'Would you live in our house?'

HUSBAND: 'Sure. It's a great house .'

WIFE: 'Would you sleep with her in our bed?'

HUSBAND: 'Where else would we sleep?'

WIFE: 'Would you let her drive my car?'

HUSBAND: 'Probably. It is almost new.'

WIFE: 'Would you replace my pictures with hers?'

HUSBAND: 'That would seem like the proper thing to do.'

WIFE: 'Would you give her my jewelry?'

HUSBAND: 'No... I'm sure she'd want her own.'

WIFE: 'Would you take her golfing with you?'

HUSBAND: 'Yes. Those are always good times.'

WIFE: 'Would she use my clubs?'

HUSBAND: 'No. She's left-handed.'

WIFE: - silence -

HUSBAND: ' . . .. . Shit.'

[Slacker]

knock knock?

[Shiro]

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam?
You can't peanut butter your dick up someone's ass!

[sTr]

Who's there?

[Slacker]

Doctor

[Slacker]

DR WHO, HAR HURRR HAAAARRR HURRRR!!!!!

here's my actual joke....

Quote:How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb?

To get to the other side.

[sTr]

bajaj @ dr. who

and

-get's it....

[Slacker]

whats large, Grey and comes in gallons?

[sTr]

???!?

[Slacker]

[sTr]

bajajajajajajajajajajajajajajjaaj....

[Slacker]

what do you do if an elephant comes through your window?













swim

[Insanecowposse]

A little girl is crying looking over a cliff. A hiker finds her and says hey little girl why are you crying? She points down to her parents car at the bottom of the cliff with her dead parents in it. He unzips his pants and says I guess its just not your lucky day.