Michael Douglas has cancer?

[Phantom]

Michael Douglas = the man. Let's check his film career, according to his characters...

- Fucked Sharon Stone like a million times before dried up, although loose as hell probably

- Went on an adventure with Danny Devito (sure, serial mom was there too but c'mon... Mantis Tobagan)

- Got thrown in prison via his financial genius... gets out and just does it again with a big fuck you to shia labooooof

- Deep cover CIA agent who just fucked with everyone

- Got people to believe Demi Moore's character sexually harassed HIM

Need I go on? Dude has a good eye when it comes to his career.

And he gets to fuck Zeta Jones on like a daily basis. Win.