Quote:The bad news: it's in Eastern Europe.
by Johnny Firecloud
Dec 15, 2009 After several months of speculation and anticipatory mullet-grooming, it's been confirmed that Metallica, Slayer, Megadeth and Anthrax will play on the same stage in the same night for the first time in history. Satan's bowels exploded at the news, showering the globe with wretched metal bile and spike-studded leather bracelets.



"It's about fucking time this happened," says Slayer's Kerry King, "and about time the fans finally get what they want. This is fucking awesome."

On June 16, 2010, the four legendary bands will take the stage at Bemowo Airport, Poland, to make our aging metal dreams come true. Yep, fucking Poland. They couldn't have it here in America, where they're all from, where they defined and gave direction to the metal aggression tendencies of millions of grimy kids in the '80s. To rub it in, a second Big Four appearance is planned for Sonisphere Czech Republic three days later, with more shows to be announced.

Lars Ulrich of Metallica weighed in on the historic announcement: "Who would have thought that more than 25 years after its inception, thrash metal's big 4 would not only still be around and more popular than ever, but will now play together for the first time...what a mindfuck! Bring it on!"

That's all fine and good, but why couldn't these guys get their acts together fifteen years ago, when they weren't rounding the corner of irrelevance and self-parody? These are all '80s acts we're talking about, every single one of them far past their prime fighting age (and shape). I mean hell, we'll take what we can get at this point, but still.

Anthrax guitarist Scott Ian threw his thirty-four cents in as well:

"People have been talking about these four bands playing together since 1984. That's twenty-six years of expectation!! And the thing is, I believe not only will we live up to the expectations, we will shatter them! No other four bands as influential as the four of us have ever done this. Imagine if The Beatles, Stones, the Who and Zeppelin had done shows? Or Sabbath, Priest, Maiden, Motorhead? Well, I may be getting into some rarified air here but as a fan, that's how big I feel this is."

"This is a 'once-in-a-lifetime' opportunity for heavy metal fans to see the four greatest heavy metal bands in American history back together on one stage," concluded Megadeth frontman Dave Mustaine. "If there are any heads left at the end of this festival that haven't banged, they don't belong there."

Tickets are available from <!-- w --><a class="postlink" href="http://www.sonispherefestivals.com" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">www.sonispherefestivals.com</a><!-- w -->