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have u ever - Printable Version

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have u ever - dirtymonkey22 - 09-03-2009

SHIT your self or came close

i remember me and a freind were on bikes about a half mile from my house and my stomach droped !!!!
i jumped off that bike so fast and he was just dieing laughing at me he kept telling me to power through your almost home. have you ever tried hold a shit wile rideing a bike wtf .
well i barley made it and did i mention i had to go up stairs and the door was lock to my place i was banging the fuck out of it untill my girl opend up and i yelled move god dam it !!!!

and wile i was in there i hear my friend and girl cracking up


so tell your funny shit story


Re: have u ever - Grimlin - 09-03-2009

Few times.....Exploding diarrhea sucks. So many times I'll walk fast and barely sit down and the shit just comes shooting out.Acid reflux is not a fun problem to have.Usually i catch it at home...lol

Once at a store while buying something at the counter i felt it coming fast and furious,ended up crossing my legs and clenching my ass so hard so it wouldn't come out.I somehow managed to make it to the bathroom there to let it out.If i wouldn't have done this i would have shitted myself.


Also once while fishing...this one sucked because all i had was leaves and one paper bag to wipe my ass with.....It was around 7 in the morning. I'm guessing that McDonald's biscuit and coffee was the culprit.There was nobody out there yet where i was.I ended up packing it up and hitting the nearest Gas station,seeing that the leaves and paper bag did the job after wiping my ass again there with toilet paper I went back out to the lake again.


Re: have u ever - dirtymonkey22 - 09-03-2009

ive been at work and haave had to go and start panicing trying to put TP on the seat


and come on everyone you know youve had this prob STR, FRED come on guys SLACKER this shits funny


Re: have u ever - Grimlin - 09-03-2009

Fred got sick off of White castle burgers.....He stunk up our hotel bathroom once back in 03'.


Re: have u ever - dirtymonkey22 - 09-03-2009

see out of all the nasty shit we talk about on here i thought this would be a great thread fuck i wonder what kind of storys ms felony has a dude in high heels having to shit bajaja


Re: have u ever - sTr - 09-03-2009

my old badn had a song called "Aw Dam (I crapped My Pants)", it was epic.


Re: have u ever - XIII - 09-03-2009

I've had a dirty fart once n a while, but never full-on shit my pants. Had close calls before.


Re: have u ever - XxSweetBitchAssxX - 09-03-2009

Hahaha, this is pretty funny for a topic, lol.

I have some serious stomach problems (which I've had a handle on for awhile), so sure, it's happened. I used to be a bail bonds agent, and I was driving to this prison I had never been to before that was like an hour from my house one morning. On the way there, I thought I have gas, and boy was I wrong. Instead of letting one go, I actually shit my pants. I was more than halfway to the prison, but I turned around, went home, took a shower, and then drove back. I told them I got stuck in traffic, haha. No way was I going into a prison after shitting my pants, hahaha


Re: have u ever - Slacker - 09-03-2009

-has came close many a time

mostly when intoxicated i get lulled (LOL'd) into a false sense of security by what i believe to be a SBD...only to find out at the last possible moment its a WMD. Always keep your abort codes handy, s'all im sayin


Re: have u ever - dirtymonkey22 - 09-04-2009

bajaj i made this thread because everyone has had to have this problem

and why is it that 2 things people are weird about talking about is sex and shit buut you feel great after both


Re: have u ever - psychopathic penguin - 09-04-2009

Slacker Wrote:-has came close many a time

mostly when intoxicated i get lulled (LOL'd) into a false sense of security by what i believe to be a SBD...only to find out at the last possible moment its a WMD. Always keep your abort codes handy, s'all im sayin

bajajaj


Re: have u ever - Paullehh - 09-04-2009

I've shat myself like 5 times.
Never trust a fart.


Re: have u ever - NEKESTRO - 09-05-2009

hell yeah ive shit on myself. many many times. its always on purpose tho so i dunno if it counts?


Re: have u ever - sTr - 09-06-2009

the best is when you fart and you think you shit yourself so you waddle to the bathroom as to not rub shit all over yourself and you get there and nothing.


Re: have u ever - Paullehh - 09-06-2009

sTr Wrote:the best is when you fart and you think you shit yourself so you waddle to the bathroom as to not rub shit all over yourself and you get there and nothing.
The worst is when you fart and you are not sure if you shat yourself so you stick your hand down there to see if it's wet...and it is! :(


Re: have u ever - Insanecowposse - 09-06-2009

I shit myself once after seeing dirtymonkey naked and then i threw the shit at him. Seriously tho my brother in law Jeremy farted so hard once that the liquid shit squirt straight outta his pants and made a smudge on the cement. I was laughing so damn hard I didn't even know that was possible.


Re: have u ever - sTr - 09-06-2009

that's jeremy for ya....